


The 'Waterloo' Affair

by Avirra



Series: Man from U.N.C.L.E - Sound & Dialogue [10]
Category: The Man From U.N.C.L.E.
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-17
Updated: 2014-07-17
Packaged: 2018-02-09 05:17:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 943
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1970412
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Avirra/pseuds/Avirra
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Think the conflict between Wellington and Napoleon ended at Waterloo?  Think again.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The 'Waterloo' Affair

_purrrrrrrrrrrr . . . purrrrrrrrrrr . . . purrrrrrr_

_knock_

_hissssssssss_

"Come in, Napoleon."

_door opens - closes_

"How did you know it was me? You didn't even get off of your couch."

"Wellington. He only seems to hiss like that when you are the one at the door."

"That cat has never liked me."

"In all fairness to him, you did start it."

"In all fairness to me, I didn't even know you had a cat when I came here that day. And I certainly did not see his tail."

"I assumed that. I did not think that you stepped on him deliberately."

"He got his revenge. Between me having a near heart attack from him screeching to what he did to my ankle?"

"You may consider yourself even, but apparently he does not view it in the same fashion."

"That's sort of creepy."

"Pardon? What is creepy?"

"His eyes and yours are almost the same color. You know, if you look at the T.H.R.U.S.H. thugs the same way that he's looking at me, I can see now why you unnerve them. So, I never asked. How long did it take to find a cat that matched you?"

"One, he does not match me. Two, we seemed to find one another."

"Really? I would have thought just coming across a black cat with blue eyes would have to be against the odds."

"Perhaps it is. I cannot say that I have ever taken a survey as to the variety of cats in the region. Besides, if he actually did match me as you claim, should he not be a golden cat with blue eyes?"

"Umm - maybe. I guess I just automatically think of black as being your signature color."

_purrrrrrr_

"Does he always sleep across the back of your shoulders?"

"Not always, but often enough I suppose."

"That's even creepier."

"Oh, for - **what** is supposedly creepy about Wellington now?"

"When he's laying there like that, he kind of blends into your turtleneck. At least until he opens his eyes."

"For a man who was staring down the barrel of more than one gun just yesterday, you seem to be very easily creeped out today. I could almost believe that you are actively searching to find fault with my cat."

"Well - not actively."

"Is it cats in general that you have a problem with or just Wellington?"

"Cats in general, I suppose. I guess I'm more of a dog person."

"I find that peculiar."

"Why peculiar, partner?"

"You have a tendency to be drawn to more independent women and I know for a fact that if a woman is too eager to please that it gets on your nerves. I would have thought that would have inclined you more toward felines than canines."

"Never particularly thought of it in those terms, I suppose. Dogs are rather on the eager to please side, aren't they?"

"Well, perhaps to you. I simply do not like them. But I have my reasons. Do you?"

"Do I what?"

"Have reasons not to like cats?"

"Not really. Unless you count the way Wellington is currently staring at me and twitching his tail."

"He is just trying to make sure he knows where your feet are at all times."

"Couldn't you just tell him that I come in peace?"

"Wellington would be unlikely to believe me. Especially since you keep staring back at him. Hardly a friendly overture on your part."

"He glared at me first."

. . . . .

"Oh alright. I admit it. I just don't know how to relate to cats. I've been around barn cats, but with them, around is the operative word. You know they're around and they know you're around, but you don't really interact with them."

"I have always gotten along with cats, so I am not sure how to advise you. Perhaps if you could think of how you would relate to a person with similar traits?"

"Hmm. Okay. I think I have an idea. Be back in a few."

"Where are you going?"

"Just going to try out your suggestion."

_door opens - closes_

"I know, I know, kotenok. He is perhaps a trifle peculiar, but hopefully the two of you will get used to one another. It took me a bit of time as well."

_purrrrrrrrrrr . . ._

_hisssssssssss_

"It is still open, Napoleon."

_grumble_

"I hadn't even knocked yet this time."

"Apparently Wellington has a sixth sense where you are concerned."

"Apparently. Easy there, Wellington. I bring a peace offering to you and your tail."

_rustle_

"What on earth are you - is that pate'?"

"I was guaranteed that most cats love a good liver pate'."

"That seems to be correct in the case of Wellington at least. What made you think of that?"

"You."

"Pardon?"

"You said to think of someone with similar traits. Independent, a little aloof, standoffish to strangers and able to shoot daggers with blue eyes. And I've always found a food offering helped whenever I inadvertently stepped on your proverbial tail."

"You are lucky that I am fond of cats or I might have a tendency to be insulted. But it appears your peace offering worked."

"Do I have to go from being glared at to having him curled up on my chest? He has liver breath."

"Since you are the one that fed him the liver, I hardly think you have grounds to complain about the odor."

_sigh_

"I suppose not. I would be violating the peace treaty if I were to move him right now, wouldn't I?"

"Most likely. If it is any comfort, he is unlikely to use you as a cat bed for more than half an hour."

_purrrrrrrrr_


End file.
